Single on Valentine's Day: a poem of sporting optimism
Posted by Tribesports A on 13 February 2012 at 11:45 AM
It's 9:38 on a cold Tuesday night
And I'm still in the gym by myself
All around me is silence, not a squeak or a sound
For I'm the lonely runner left on the shelf
St Valentine has been and he's left in a dash
Offered hope via lust and then love
While I run on the treadmill - not that fast, just a jog,
To be pushed off unexpectedly with a shove
Who is this assailant so bolshy and brave
Who has come here to interrupt my run?
I look up to the dashboard and the numbers all bright
Could this be my new lover: 'the one'?
Her face I can't recognise, but the smell is distinct
A mix of lactic acid and Deet.
As she towers above me laughing hard in my face
I recognise the voice: it's defeat.
Her bellows surround me as I realise my fate
I am single and lonely and sad
While my peers all dine out with the loves of their lives
I am talking to myself. I am mad.
'You pathetic poor soul!', she cries in my ear
'Your pace is getting slower and slower'
As she looks at the clock and sees 12 minute miles
There's a feeling like I already know her
'You're lazy, unfit', she starts with a quip,
'And your man-boobs wobble each time you work out'
'You have cankles, love handles and your face looks a mess'
Is this how disappointment was expected to turn out?
She spits in face and calls me a disgrace
And it's true: I've no reason to doubt her
My training is absent; my mileage too low
My resolve is beginning to falter
But inspired by this I return to the voice
And I bark my response even louder
'It is I', I begin - 'and I run' (that's my sin)
Of my pace I could not be more prouder
'So I'm slow?' I remark as I train in the dark
(Cos the cleaners have turned all the lights off)
'Just because I'm unfit doesn't mean that I quit'
All I hear in response is a low cough
So what if I'm single? Alone by myself
As my peers are all dining and dating?
There is more to my life than a house, car and wife
I would rather be running than mating.
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