The top 10 sports to take someone on a first date (also known as: Maximise your opportunities for winning gold)
Sport and love are, quite frankly, natural bedfellows. In fact, most of the sports you'll find in the modern Olympics have their history in some form of sexual practice or desire. The Javelin, for example, was said to be sculpted in the likeness of the Roman god Janus's phallus. Though Janus was the God of Doors, so in the grand pecking order of deitydom, it's probably not worth putting too much weight on this legend.
Likewise, although traditional mythology suggests that Pheidippides' 26.2 mile dash from Marathon to Athens in 490bc created the precursor to our modern distance event, there is a growing clamor from academics who suggest that - rather than running to spread news about the Persian's defeat in the Battle of Marathon - he was actually running because he was late for an important date with the hottest princess in all of the empire! Stick that in your running socks Gebrselassie!
Either way, we've rounded up 10 sports which make a perfect first date activity - along with our reasons why. Any innuendo, crass remarks or stereotyping is apologised for in advance.
Nothing says 'I love you' like getting hot and sweaty whilst dressed in a nappy. Better still, it's a fantastic opportunity to get up close and personal to check your prospective partner's propensity for bromhydrosis.
"I promise I'll catch you if you fall" is not only one of the cheesiest lies you'll ever tell (try catching a falling mass of 65kgs to see how you fare), but climbing gives you an unparalleled view of upwardly-mobile muscle you're likely to get. Just don't make it obvious, chump.
Aside from the innuendo this sport offers ("place your hand on my throttle"), this cosy bike-for-two (minus Daisy's answer-do) is the perfect opportunity to demonstrate to each other that you're the ideal combination of thrill-seeking adventurer - as well as a good swimmer.
If you're struggling to get close to each other on a first date, spinning around violently inside an inflatable plastic ball is guaranteed to bring you together. Just make sure you do it before your dinner date, or it might get a bit messy.
Nothing says 'I'm an alpha-male' like shooting things, but likewise nothing says 'I'm a sensitive sort who cares about the environment' like replacing real-life objects with plastic discs. Take aim and pull the trigger on dating success! Pull!
This really is a terrible sport for a first date. The only reason we included it is because we wanted to squeeze in a tacky pun about getting a hole-in-one. In retrospect, we shouldn't have.
Sand? Check! Sun? Check! Not many clothes? BINGO! Take your date to the beach and win her over with a dodge, dive and spike in no time at all. Easy to see why this one's a winner.
Stunning beautiful people play tennis: simple conclusion. Rafael Nadal. Maria Sharapova. Roger Federer. Not only is tennis a fantastic two-way tussle, it's a great way to get your grunting out. If it wasn't meant to be, they wouldn't use the word 'love' in the score would they?
Not only is snooker rising in popularity, but it's a great opportunity to multitask: once you've finished your game, recycle the table and use it as an impromptu setting for a romantic dinner for two. Plus you get to dress up (albeit with a waistcoat).
Make a splash with your prospective partner and check your compatibility via a series of simple sub-aquean challenges! Scissor-kicks, floating palms and sunflowers all make an appearance in this obvious test of teamwork. Ka-ching!
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